Confession time

It’s been a rocky week for my blood sugar.

I keep telling myself that once winter is over I’ll have more motivation.

I don’t know the stats on lactating moms, but this one can’t stop eating sugar.
10 gs cookies on Wednesday.
5 gs cookies, some chocolate, half a bag of caramel popcorn, and a cookie on Thursday.

It wasn’t much better today. I feel like death and I can’t control it!!
I can’t go on any detoxes or cleanses, for fear I will lose my milk. A few weeks ago I tried the 21 Day Sugar Detox. I only made it 12 days and then crashed and burned into a mountain of chocolate chip cookies (they weren’t even good or worth it). It’s too difficult to live under a rock (since sugar is pervasive in our society). I also didn’t have time to cook pounds of sweet potatoes every third night (one of the only acceptable starches for lactating mothers, I also saw a pretty significant drop in my milk supply.).

livestrong.com says that “Some lactation consultants believe this craving is nature’s way of prompting women to eat certain foods, such as almonds and fruit, which both supply extra nutrients and support milk production. ”

Edit:I ate almonds today. And cookies and caramel corn.

Well if that’s the case, then my body needs a sharper signal because it’s coming through loud and clear on this end as SAMOAS and we won’t take NO-A! (Was that funny??)

I really only need to be even “moderately” healthy, I really only need to take a small walk to burn extra calories with the breast milk engines roaring, and I can’t even seem to do that.

womentowomen.com says “Sadly, we’ve been told for far too long that indulging in sweets is connected with a lack of self-will or some other character flaw. This is just not true! Craving sugar is not simply about willpower, nor is it simply about emotions. There may be several underlying physiologic causes feeding your desire for sugar, and it may take some perspective and investigation to get to the bottom of it. Let’s take a closer look at what might be behind your sugar cravings and how you can develop a healthy, loving relationship with sweets.”

Oh, so it’s not my fault?! Well then! Disregard everything I’ve written here.

Hairstylist’s voodoo magic

My hair is (was) long. Like really long. Just the way I had always dreamed of it being. It’s thick, shiny, beautiful and long. The possibilities are endless! I could flat iron it into glossy submission. Or curl it into beachy waves, I mean, the list goes on!

So why then, day after day, is it in this nasty pony tail? The kind of pony tail that turns into a rat-nest hair ball on the underside of the pony from rubbing on your back whenever you turn your head (Omg, not even a cute pony tail. You can’t even do a cute pony tail?)? The kind that has half wave (from letting it air dry) and the slick-to-the side bangs letting the world know that you woke up way late (every single day). I’d blame it on having a baby, but let’s be honest, I’ve never curled it to go to work a day in my life (maybe for an interview but the line gets drawn there!). I had actually convinced myself that if I used the blow drier after a night shower that I’d wake the baby! Hah! Clever, lazy girl. 

Yeah, right.
photo from http://zodiacadvice.com

So anyway…It never gets fixed. My hair was heavy to where two thick rubber bands securing it in a bun wouldn’t keep it from flying around during a workout. My hair was getting SO heavy that I’d get a headache when it was in a pony tail.

What?

Oh my God! What the hell am I going to do if I can’t put it in a pony tail?! Just wear it down? Sick, sad, unkempt and down!?!? …like it’s not like I’m going to all of a sudden start fixing it! Why am I so attached to this hair that I never fix and gets caught in all the bags I have to carry into work every day? Why do I want it when it takes an hour just to dry and another hour to curl (all the curl is gone in an hour anyway!)?

So I cut it. I cut a foot of it.

I had decided to quit going to my budget place (the hair school…$8 haircuts!). The stylist was really great, and I watched her fix my hair with great scrutiny so I could make sure I could re-create it later (not the cutting, the styling).

It looked great. She did great. It didn’t take much time. It seemed really easy to do. I loved it! That initial style lasted 3 days!! And on the third day….I washed my hair.

So that’s how long it lasted. 3 days. It’s back into a little nubbin of a pony tail. With a headband to distract from my shame. What’s worse is that I tried. I dried and straightened and sectioned and sprayed.

Not even close.